Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Repost: A request from your fat friend from UpWorthy

http://www.upworthy.com/a-request-from-your-fat-friend-what-i-need-when-we-talk-about-bodies





I have a lot to say about this. First of all it words so eloquently what I have trouble saying out loud sometimes. Most times. It shows the true feelings I have when I hear people I love hate themselves for being a fraction of the size that I am. I am big. I am fat. I don't say this in a self deprecating manner. I say it because it is my truth. I have grown up and lived in a world where fat=bad. So for a very VERY long time, I have lived in shame of my fatness. But I don't anymore. I can't say that everyday I wake up and love every inch of my curvaceous body. I can’t say that everyday I wake up and hate it either. I have come to a point in my life, where my fatness is just that. Fatness. It’s not bad. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It doesn’t make me less intelligent. Less aesthetic for the male eye. It doesn’t define the kind of love I can give nor my aspirations in life. It doesn’t mean that I have no confidence or no self control. My fatness is not a result of 100% poor choices and laziness. My fatness is a result of a plethora of things. Whether I decide to rid myself of my fatness is up to me and me only. Too long I’ve had to endure comments, advice, well intentioned words about what I should do with my body. Too long I have been in shame and dammit it’s EXHAUSTING. Only I get to decide how to feel about my body. So why have I gone so long allowing others to make that decision for me? Whether it was my mother berating me about my bag of Hott Cheetos or my father pinching my belly fat or my sister talking about how fat she is at 117 lbs or her husband giving me a disapproving look when I get a large breakfast with pancakes or my boss recommending a great diet or when it’s a friend who for the first time in their life they have been over weight and they’re just so in hate with their body; IT. FUCKING. HURTS. It’s always someone I love saying something with great intentions. It’s always someone pointing out that I’m beautiful even if I’m fat. DAMN. STRAIGHT. I. AM. I am a loving, caring machine. I have internal beauty that outshines external. I have the capacity to forgive, to love, to understand, to care; I am an amazing listener, I don’t judge, (99% of the time. I reserve the 1% for people like Drumpf or Mary Fallin) I am understanding, a hard worker, eager to always learn something. I am beautiful AND fat. And it’s okay to say that to me. It’s okay to acknowledge it. I would rather the truth be spoken than someone try to hide their disdain for my fatness by replacing fat with some pretty adjective they come up with instead. Goddammit I have goals. I have aspirations in life. I DO CARE that I’m fat. I am not 100% okay with my body, and I never will be if I know everyone around me isn’t okay with it too. I decide when and how I lose weight. I decide to lose weight or not to lose weight. I am sick of constantly hanging my head in shame and quite frankly I am sick of the self-deprecating manner in which my non fat friends and family behave. Please click on the link I’m sharing here and please for the love of God… Follow the advice. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be broken.

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